In which I define the descriptor of the blog persona
n. A member of a very particular subspecies of Homo sapiens wh develops a regular, periodic, and intense fascination with different cultural works (e.g., specific songs, books, plays, films, television shows) and their creators, thereby amassing a collection of heroes and pop “things” over their lifetime. In certain cases, the culture slut’s affinity for the artist exceeds their affinity for the art; but they usually strike a balance depending on the artist or art in mind. For example, whereas 30 Rock constitutes a large part of my admiration for Tina Fey, I prefer studying Dmitri Shostakovich’s life to almost any single composition of his.
The culture slut’s degree of fascination with any such cultural tidbit can range as follows:
Whatever the level, their attention is concentrated on that subject, and they will reference it, subtly or not, for as long as their attention lasts. At the mild end of the spectrum, they entertain their companions with witty allusions; at the intense end, they quote lines/melodies/whole passages until their companions want to die. The amount of references is directly proportional to the presence of the subject in the culture slut’s mind. Thus, when the references peter out, you may assume the subject has crossed into the culture slut’s subconscious. However, similar to the normal human being, the culture slut is liable to experience a flare-up, or “phase,” at a later point.
The exact number of living culture sluts is unknown. Experts suspect that many more exist than will identify themselves due to embarrassment; but they have determined that those who do embrace the identity tend to congregate in cities, and they have not given up hope of pinpointing the major loci of culture slut social life worldwide.
(Culture sluts can and do survive and thrive in various socioeconomic environments.)
One of the consummate culture sluts of our day is Abed Nadir from Community, who interprets life almost exclusively through quotations of film, television, and comics. The fact that I am using a culture-obsessed sitcom character to delineate and diagnose cultural obsession should tell you all you need to know about my own condition.
Every social circle has at least one culture slut. If you don’t know who it is, it’s you.
Treat the culture slut in your life with care. Underneath all the enthusiasm, their quickness to form attachments can be a source of sensitivity, even self-consciousness. “What’s wrong with me,” they may ask, silently or aloud, “that I whore myself out to a new band or writer or Netflix show all the time?”
Listen with compassion. Reassure them that they are not a whore, even though they are. Don’t give them a hard time about it. Let them pour their heart out over the flavor of the week or month or year, and should it reach a point that you deem unreasonable or you just can’t take it anymore, gently ask them to shut up.
Image: Abed (Danny Pudi), in one of those paintball episodes that ended season 1 or 2