Denial! Betrayal! C. S. Lewis!

Or, the Triduum

Well, friends, here we are, in the sweet spot between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, the night of vigils and multiple readings of Scripture. Lifelong literature student and irrevocable cultural Catholic that I am—and having spent much of the past week down with a flu that’s been going around—I’ve seized upon this time to revisit some reading both seasonal and perennial. That is, the Gospels as per usual, as well as C. S. Lewis’s 1950 classic The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, which canonically appears second in (but, authorially speaking, began) The Chronicles of Narnia.

A quick aside: when I tell people my postgraduate studies culminated in an exploration of the work and influence of Lewis Carroll, they not infrequently hear ‘C. S. Lewis.’ As a writer of children’s magical/adventure fiction, old Clive was, believe it or not, influenced by Carroll; and I am sure I could spin a yarn to connect his body of material to my other subject John Lennon’s, though thematically that discussion would take quite a different turn (something about the comparative popularity of Jesus). And I don’t know that their work is in any sort of direct dialogue, as I have no idea if the young Lennon would have encountered Lewis’s writing, or in what context. Certainly the genres for which Lewis became best-known were not the genres Aunt Mimi was keeping in the house.

Anyway, the Narnia books figured prominently in my and my sister’s childhood, Wardrobe in particular. Even in a household that didn’t place a premium on fantasy, the story spoke to us. You can’t not love Tumnus the faun and Mr and Mrs Beaver. The White Witch, too, in all her sinister allure. (I vividly remember her origin story as Queen Jadis, last ruler of Charn, and often return to the chapter of The Magician’s Nephew that describes it.) And the better I understood the allegory subsequently, the more power the narrative held for me. Edmund encounters the Witch before any of his siblings, forming a very different first picture of the country than, say, Lucy; and he doesn’t mean any harm to them by trying to please her, but inadvertently turns traitor before he can fully understand what he’s gotten himself into.

If I were plied with Turkish Delight by a beautiful, intimidating stranger, I too would lose my sense of moral direction. And if you think you wouldn’t…you, my friend, have never tasted Turkish Delight.

I always found Edmund to be an incredibly sympathetic character. He is not a cruel person, but cruel impulses (his older brother Peter calls them “beastly”) sometimes overtake him for reasons he can’t explain, and he lashes out for want of control. This is what leads him, after his first meeting with the Witch, to deny Lucy’s claim that Narnia exists just at the moment she thinks her success is sealed: since Edmund too has visited, surely Peter and Susan will now believe the two of them instead of just her. But Edmund turns on her in a particularly nasty manner; and for this reason it’s some time more—including a consultation with Professor Digory Kirke, the titular Magician’s Nephew and a Narnia traveler himself—before all four Pevensie children are willing, and thus able, to go into the wardrobe. Who among us hasn’t abused this sort of petty power, even for a moment, simply because we can?

Edmund’s are the actions upon which the plot of this volume revolves. His betrayal of his siblings and the lion Aslan to the Witch is not malicious like his behavior toward Lucy in “our world”: it is unconscious, thoughtless, distracted. And it is this betrayal which prompts Aslan to offer himself up to the Witch so that the Deep Magic from the Dawn of Time can be appeased. This trade is unbeknownst to the children and Aslan’s army; they think he has simply freed Edmund from the Witch’s clutches and don’t muse on the possible bargain that might have taken place. Besides, even with apparently civil talks between the leaders of opposing factions, there is a war on, and an army needs to prepare itself for battle. Here is where the aptly-named Peter begins to take a more active role, or rather has one thrust upon him, as Aslan tells him he will lead the army without Aslan being present to guide him. Peter doesn’t grasp the full implication of this, just as everything Jesus says in his last twenty-four hours goes over his disciples’ heads; but he manages to meet the challenge, and Aslan’s expectations.

And here is where I consult the source material. In my heart of hearts, I’ve never much cared for Simon Peter. He’s hotheaded, violent, and argumentative, and he manages to make almost every exchange with Jesus about himself. These feelings throw into relief my affection for Judas Iscariot, because, for as often as Judas is called a coward, Peter shows none of the courage that Judas shows. I accept it essentially as canon by now that Judas, “induced by the devil” though he may be, acts in what he believes is Jesus’s best interest; that he dislikes the idea of being paid for handing Jesus over, even if he could put the money to good use; and that it never enters his mind that the handoff could result in Jesus’s execution. But the act is bigger than Judas knows. Just as God chose Mary for the vessel through which Jesus entered the world in human form, God had to have chosen Judas to set the Passion in motion. God saw in Judas something worthy to give him a hand in this series of events. And Judas accepts his fate, taking Jesus’s cue to leave the Last Supper, even if he can’t comprehend everything he is about to become responsible for. Peter, meanwhile, does nothing so momentous and risky as take it upon himself to betray Jesus, but engages in the passive, self-preservational act of denial. And he even denies the possibility that he will deny Jesus when Jesus forewarns him of it at supper. Any schmoe could do that; no special selection necessary. You’ll have a hard time convincing me of the infallibility of an institution whose first face was this guy. I, for one, would aspire to follow Judas’s imperfect example over Peter’s any day of the week, and twice on Thursday nights.

Edmund, being the representation of Judas in the Narnia story, is still then one of the most dynamic and interesting characters; that said, Peter gets a more redemptive, glamorous arc than his namesake, as he does eventually lead Aslan’s army to victory against the Witch’s forces (we all remember his battle cry in the movie). First, though, the Witch must have her kill, as prescribed by the Deep Magic. In keeping with the Gospels, only the women—or girls, Susan and Lucy—bear witness to Aslan’s sacrifice. He goes to the Stone Table at night, is shaved and humiliated by the Witch’s court, then is bound and made to lie down on the table as the Witch whets her knife. It’s a heartbreaking speech she addresses to him, about having given up his life and not spared Edmund’s. The binding of Aslan, so that he resembles “a mass of cords,” is excessive and sordid: he goes ‘like a lamb to the slaughter,’ as Jesus does, in meek submission, but his leonine strength is so fearsome to the Witch’s retinue that they subject him to the ultimate physical subjugations before allowing him to submit to his actual killing. It also recalls the binding of Isaac (Genesis 22), whom Abraham is also preparing to slaughter with a knife before an angel stays his hand and applauds his faithfulness to the will of God. (Can you imagine? Your reward for trusting in God is that you get to not kill your son? After three days of psychologically steeling yourself and presumably lying to said son about what the two of you will be offering up on that mountaintop in the distance? As Abe said, man, you must be putting me on.) Symbolically, while Jesus is often called the New Adam, having destroyed original sin by his suffering and death, he is by the same token the New Isaac, because the Father did not stop himself from killing his son the way he stopped Abraham.

Aslan’s death invokes the Deeper Magic from Before the Dawn of Time—a case of Christian law overriding Mosaic law—which states that innocent blood shed in a traitor’s stead will reverse the course of death itself. In case you hadn’t guessed, the Stone Table equals the stone tablets of Mosaic law: when it cracks in two, Aslan returns resurrected, and the scales of the living and dead are righted. He appears to the girls, in accordance with the Easter narrative; leads them to the ensuing fight, in which the Witch is vanquished; and crowns the four Pevensies Kings and Queens of Narnia at the castle Cair Paravel. Thus commences Narnia’s Golden Age, in which some of the five subsequent books are set; the Pevensies appear occasionally, as do their adjacent counterparts Eustace Scrubb and Jill Pole, who become more prominent in the last three books.

Last fall Netflix announced plans for a new adaptation of the series, which I receive with mixed apprehension and hope. I’ve been known to confess how moved I am every year by the story of the Passion, and I admire how Wardrobe imagines and interprets that story even as it stands on its own as a successful fantasy tale. But just as Scripture contains countless characters and storylines, this is only the surface of the world of Narnia, beloved to generations of readers; and I want the creators who undertake this project to do so with extra care. I’m not surprised they want to undertake it. It’s a series that helps some readers discover what others turn to religion itself to discover. It makes both kinds of readers feel welcome. That’s a tale worth being told again and again.

Image: first edition

Anna Delvey, America’s iCon

Or, stop being so dramatic 🙄

Like much of the world, I was drawn into Shonda Rhimes’ new Netflix series Inventing Anna, which documents the almost unreal rise and fall of ‘fake German heiress’ Anna Sorokin, better known as Anna Delvey, over the mid-to-late-2010s. From boutique hotel rooms to glitzy trips abroad to stolen jets, she conned New York high society out of hundreds of thousands of dollars and was on the cusp of crossing into the millions when the scheme came crashing down around her.

At least, the conventional wisdom is that it was a con. No two people even seem to agree on that. Which has kept me turning over the case in my head ever since.

New York Magazine’s Jessica Pressler broke the story in May 2018, Delvey having been remanded to Rikers Island the previous fall. I don’t remember hearing anything of these events as they unfolded—unsurprising, I guess, given that it was in quite a few powerful people’s interest to keep it under wraps and reveal what had to be revealed as vaguely as possible out of sheer embarrassment. But, as Shakespeare or somebody said, the truth will out! Especially when the truth comes to Shondaland.

In the borderless, acoustically deafening agora that is the internet, people who do recall getting wind of the story at the time lament how discouraging it was to see the fascination with “flashy wannabe[s]” at the expense of honest people trying to change their own situation and station. Others criticize Anna (her exploits as portrayed in the series, when checked against Pressler’s profile, seem pretty faithful) for making terrible decisions and generally falling short of the criminal-mastermind status she is accorded by still others. And then, of course, there are those who balk at what a distorted sense of self she must have had to believe she could manifest a place in the aristocracy through what amounted to an elaborate set of people skills.

In my humble opinion, none of these angles does her justice.

All during the series’ introductory-expository phase, you better believe I was getting Edie-Sedgwick-with-an-Instagram vibes from this girl. So I’m on board with whatever her deal is. (Her account now has 999,999 followers, plus me.) It didn’t take much longer, though, for me to recognize that was not a fair comparison. Edie was born into her world. Anna, armed with that elaborate set of people skills—which did not even include much in the way of niceties or common decency—hustled her way into circles of people who were thereby convinced that she had been born into their world. She used her other natural talents, like a photographic memory, to immerse herself in the myth she had built. And, unlike Edie, she had to worry constantly about maintaining that myth, keeping up appearances, having cash on hand, having friends who could bail her out if it came to it. Because she knew there was a chasm between what she did have to her name and what she wanted to attain. Once she had secured enough people’s trust, on both personal and financial levels, then there was a distinct chance that she would have pulled it off and realized the dream of the Anna Delvey Foundation. Daring and calculated as her leap was, it wasn’t enough to carry her to the other side.

And let’s talk about the Anna Delvey Foundation. She was justifiably frustrated with the tabloids dismissing her as any sort of socialite, wannabe or otherwise, because the whole long game she was running was for a club that would have enriched the coffers of the New York art scene. She was putting in considerable legwork to get a business off the ground which presumably would have become legitimate sooner or later. The question we’ll never have answered is that if she had ultimately made good on the loan, had successfully leased 281 Park Avenue South, would her illicit entrepreneurial beginnings ever have been discovered?

But the composite that is Anna Delvey really boils down to nothing but questions. She persuaded a lot of experienced professionals, be they professionals in business or the law or being rich, that she was the real deal and that her vision stood a chance of becoming reality. The purity of her intentions, the comfort level she felt with betraying friends and partners (was she forced to by circumstance? had she intended to all along?), are up for debate.

And did she do it all just for fame? Pressler’s article claims Anna fretted over how narcissistic it might sound to name her foundation after herself. But it’s not the easiest to take Anna at her word.

I’m fascinated by her narrative and by the divisive figure she presents. People try to box her in and label her, which I think cements her final triumph—that, having ridden her mysterious backstory to the perimeter of outrageous fortune, she escapes definition even now. She is both hero and villain; a foil for the American Dream, its kept gates and moving goalposts, and a schemer whose stone-cold ambition didn’t allow her to care about stepping on people in her quest for the heights. She couldn’t keep up with her own machinations in the end, but she had plenty of what it took to get that far in the first place, an X factor that remains undiminished.

So, do I agree with what she did? No.

Do I agree with why she did it? …Not entirely no.

Do I like her? Honestly, sort of.

Do I respect her? Hell yes.

(Do I hope her Céline glasses turn the tide in eyewear? Rhetorical question.)

Image: photo by Sergio Corvacho for New York Magazine

Workshop update update!

Or, third time’s the charm?

Guess what? Something weird happened with Zoom yesterday (when doesn’t it) and we rescheduled the masterclass yet again!

Haha. Ha. …………Hah.

Now, actually, for real, it will be Friday morning, 1 April, 10:00-11:30 CET. Not an April Fool’s joke, I repeat, NOT an April Fool’s joke. That is just a coincidence. (Trickster god Hermes, please be on my side.)

“Workshopping Berlin” will really be more about cities as a whole and the dialogues they facilitate about art and identity and belonging.

So, particularly if you’re in an area of the world where you’ll bee awake (or, you know, your sleep schedule permits it), there’s still time—if you haven’t already, why not register?

🙏🏼

Jesus Christ Superstore

(obviously I wasn’t going to come up with a better title than that, and Glenn would approve)

So my primary watching this winter was a sitcom that has been relegated to the second tier, below contemporary giants like Parks and Recreation, Community, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine, the last of which also features a principal named Amy. Much the way 30 Rock, in terms of cultural celebration, has played second fiddle to its primetime buddy The Office. (The American one, of course.) And while Superstore doesn’t measure up to 30 Rock—almost nothing can—it truly deserves more widespread appreciation.

It’s the story of a Woke White Guy who bails on business school and ends up working at a big-box store in St. Louis, joining an ensemble of such richly realized characters I felt like I personally knew them by the middle of the first season. By the end, I had trouble naming a single favorite. Garrett? Dina? Cheyenne? Very possibly Cheyenne tbh.

Its setting being a retail establishment in middle America, the show touches on themes of labor organizing and workers’ rights, open-carry policies, racism and classism, and tornadoes. Roughly in that order.

I won’t go into great detail about the relationships and subplots that develop along the way, or even recommend any particular episode—the final season was shot during the pandemic’s early stages, and so acknowledges it in a way few shows can do successfully—but I will say this: This show knows, better than some of its peers, how to stick the landing of a joke. The scenes cut away at just the right moments, allowing the humor to hit and then juxtaposing it with something totally different. I am in fact looking at Brooklyn Nine-Nine when I accuse some comedies of dragging out a punchline even a beat too long, and that beat can make a big difference. Superstore has a handle on it. Maybe it’s for this reason that the series just flies by and leaves you wanting more.

On the off chance you don’t believe me, here’s a survey. Then, because you’ll be curious, I hereby direct you to Netflix.

Image: a typical episode-opening staff meeting

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Workshop update!

Or, an alteration

Hear ye hear ye!

The first session of the 2022 Creative Writing Masterclass Series, presented by Berlin’s very own Soul and the City, is postponed from Saturday 26 March…to Sunday 27 March!

The time is still 11:00-12:30 CET (Central European Time); the place is still Zoom. The theme is “Workshopping Berlin,” as I figured I’d put the ‘city’ in Soul and the City, though we’ll make room for whatever cities we participants live in. It’s a creative nonfiction class, is what you need to know.

Click on the link to register—only 10 days left! And it would mean a whole lot to the teacher. *bats eyelashes*

Happy weekend. Sleep off that St. Paddy’s Day hangover.

Love—Cecilia

Hang onto your ego…

…but I know that you’re gonna lose the fight!

So, remember when I started that podcast about Pet Sounds? Well, in the process of researching for it, I kept coming across articles that mentioned it or had something to do with it. Eventually I made a concerted effort to track down these and more pieces, and compiled them into a list.

And a lovely editor at Longreads has published that list.

This project was great fun to undertake. Also challenging, because Pet Sounds is challenging—even after all this time, it challenges me in new and diverse ways. Given that this latest phase of my relationship to the album and the band and the songwriter(s) began with what I discussed only about this time last year, it seems my progress has been distinct, and greater than I could have imagined.

I’m blessed to have so many outlets and vehicles for my ideas. I’m blessed to have access to so many of the great ideas of others, which inspire lesser ideas of my own. If you’re hunting for a good weekend read, the people and essays I enumerate in this article provide a pretty fair start.

Meanwhile, I’ll just be here, waiting for Brian himself to read it. Is he my best friend yet?

News of the Soul: February

I’ve become the in-house reporter for the Berlin arts collective Soul and the City. Check out our first monthly roundup of events, workshops, and things to look forward to here. I took the photos too!

(Psst—a certain masterclass with yours truly is featured. 😉)

Take care of yourselves this Winterspring, folks!

Love—Cecilia

I’m movin’ out!

Or, good luck movin’ up

Among other recent life changes, most of which have been for the better, I’m in the process of moving from more central Berlin to more woods- and lake-adjacent Berlin. I’ll miss my current neighborhood, to be sure, but I’m looking forward to spending the warmer months closer to nature.

Packing gets a little harder with each move, despite my consistently renewed rule not to acquire too much stuff (and it isn’t even that much stuff, just more than I can transport by myself in one trip). In any event, here are some thoughts I had while re-organizing my life in material possessions.

  • I knew I had more ibuprofen somewhere! Didn’t need to buy that extra pack for a whopping €4 after all. But now I’ll carry some in my purse and be the one in the group who comes to the rescue in time of need.
  • This will be the drugs bag. More supplements than drugs, really, but they’re all going in one place now that I’ve gathered them all.
  • I officially have enough bags to fill one bag with the other bags. Is this the bourgeoisie?
  • Finally, a purpose for the giant empty Twizzler box (don’t ask)—to hold all my cards/letters/programs/ticket stubs from the past 2.5 years! Oh man, the memories.
  • I guess I should stop by that coffeeshop a few streets over that I’ve been calling “this coffeeshop I really like” and have only been to once. For old times’ sake.*
  • How fortunate was I to inherit this set of wooden hangers from a previously departed friend? With the rod for pants and skirts. That’s right, baby, the works. I’m hanging on to these like my life depends on them. Good hangers, it turns out, are very hard to find.
  • When in doubt, one more strip of masking tape.
  • I’ve never had to sit on a suitcase to get it to close. It seems my real life still has not yet turned into a full-on musical.
  • If the Great Donation to Ukraine had started up 72 hours earlier, my bag of clothes and books could have gone there. Ah well. That’s what I get for being ahead of the times. The charity I gave it to may well be arranging its own drive anyway.
  • Does this container have a lid???

<24 hours to go—wish me luck!

*Update: I did go, and ordered a peppermint mocha. Really old times’ sake. Like 2011’s sake.

Image: taken on the valedictory neighborhood walk

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Ways to #StandWithUkraine

Or, resources

You’ve probably heard by now that the diplomatic efforts to dissuade Putin from sending Russians forces into Ukraine failed and an invasion began on Thursday. There’s been violence in the big cities, most notably Kyiv, and people are fleeing the country, looking for any passage out, as happened in Kabul hardly six months ago.

One of my closest friends has extended family still living in a small town near the capital and is very occupied maintaining contact with them. Since my involvement in the UFFB last fall, I have several more friends and acquaintances with extremely tight ties to, if not whole lives in, Ukraine, and have witnessed their pain and distress up close.

So today I’m following their lead and forwarding resources for providing aid to the Ukrainian army and people. Whatever you can give or do really does make a difference.

Germany, and Berlin in particular, has expressed solidarity with Ukraine. I wouldn’t be surprised if we in the city see an influx of refugees akin to the mid-2010s. But then, a post-Merkel age is underway, and this is a different sort of crisis (and may yet turn into another sort of crisis), so I can’t pretend to say for certain. In the meantime, wherever you are in the world, take a look and see what you can contribute. This is likely only the beginning.

Image: photo taken by the author at a demonstration last weekend—see more here

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